My mother has always been quite happy to tell all and sundry what a monster of a child I was once my younger brother came along. Look, I may have gotten a little upset when I went from 100% attention to, well, none as my brother was a terrible sleeper, had reflux and generally required round the clock attention. Me? I was pretty much left to my own devices. But when the parents weren’t looking, I would undertake a little personal revenge – bending his fingers and toes back at every joint if he should stick them out of the cot/playpen/whatever. On one occasion, he wasn’t strapped into the old fashioned bouncinettes and, well, I taught him how to fly – pulled it down and let go, launching him across the lounge room at 6 months old to land on his face. Now, in my defence, he thought it was hilarious so, seriously, how could it be that wrong?
Well, this morning I was horrified to find that karma had provided me with a “mini me”, and I felt sick to my stomach. I heard Grace (6 months old) crying, well bawling actually, and walked from the kitchen to the lounge room (the two rooms are right next to each other) to see Emma with both hands on her sisters head, putting her full weight behind pressing Grace’s face into the rug. Lucky for Emma, I didn’t completely lose my mind but suffice to say, she definitely felt my wrath. There were apologies, a little sobbing and then all seemed settled. Until I went out to water the garden later in the evening, to hear the same crying – except this time, Emma was smart enough to not get caught red handed. When the moment had passed, I thought to myself “what did I do/not do for this to happen?” but the question quickly disappeared upon reflection on my own wonderful behaviour towards my younger sibling.
It still broke my heart. My baby distraught and inconsolable is bad enough, but you start to wonder what happened to make my eldest behave this way. Am I doing everything I can to give her the time she needs? Is it just asserting her position in the house, albeit in a rather dangerous and violent way? Another mother guilt trip on the way, the never ending stream of questions about my parenting ability (or lack thereof) and a wave of sadness that hasn’t quite subsided as yet. Mind you, I had 10 years of payback from my baby brother. Although my mother would tell me to hit him back, I thought “What, do you think I’m stupid?! If I do that he’ll just hit me harder!” So I’m sure when Grace is big enough there will be reciprocation of some form or another.
But the main thing is I know this too will pass. After all, my brother and I love each other very much. It was just a part of growing up and learning. So I guess it can’t all be bad? I am thinking though, that if this result doesn’t happen in the near future for my girls, I could always start up a juvenile competition of the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship)….. I know a few other mothers who would be willing to sign up their children to the cause as well.
